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I Waited 21 Years To Have Sex!

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It’s time for some girl talk y’all. 

Most people I talk to are so amazed to find out that I waited until I got married to have sex…and so did my husband!

I’ve answered all the questions like whether or not I got married so that I could have sex. 

Spoiler Alert: No.

Basically there’s a whole list of frequently asked questions that I get that I figured I’d answer here!

So let’s get into the juicy stuff.

Husband and Wife

How Did We Meet?

Finding a 21 year old girl who’s still a virgin in Downtown Chicago at college? Pretty tough.

Finding a 21 year old guy who’s still a virgin in Downtown Chicago at college? Darn near impossible.

Somehow we made it happen! 

I was going to Columbia College Chicago and he was at DePaul.

His aunt moved to Georgia with my parents for a new church when I was 2 years old! Lucky for us, she happened to connect with my mom on Facebook and they found out we were both at colleges downtown.

There weren’t many people in our area who had the same beliefs as us, so we ended up meeting up to hang!

Why Did We Wait?

Honestly, it started out as a religious thing. 

For me, I’d been told my whole life that sex was taboo, and if I kept my virginity that God would be happy with me.

I thought that because I waited I’d be blessed with a perfect marriage, with a perfect house and perfect kids.

To be honest, it kind of became my identity. Literally it felt like I was like “Hi! My name’s Jazmin, and I’m a virgin.”

I’d been a virgin so long that I didn’t know what I was missing, so it was easy to avoid having sex.

wedding

Why Did We Get Married At 21 Years Old?

I feel like a lot of people assumed that we got married because we wanted to have sex! Honestly we’d been dating for a year and a half before he proposed.

We’d been living basically together for about a 8 months of that. We knew everything about each other!

We felt like we were ready to take the next step, and honestly couples older than us have gotten married in less time than that! And have happy marriages to this day!

wedding day

How Was Our First Time?

Y’all, I’ve never seen a bigger smile on anyone’s face, as the one we had when we left to go on our honeymoon!

I was about to get it in! Finally! The day I’d been waiting for my whole life!

I had some carefully picked lingerie all laid out and I swear I was ready to get it popping.

The first thing that went wrong, was I tried to put the lingerie on directly out of the shower. It took me a good 30 minutes to get that dang stuff on.

Then, the actual moment happened.

I almost passed out. That crap hurt!

Our first time officially lasted a good thirty seconds and I tapped out. I thought sex just wasn’t for me lol!

Luckily, we have a much better time now!

All in all, I think avoiding sex until marriage is worth it for a couple of reasons! 

1. You really get to know the person you’re with, without the distractions. Sex can cloud your judgement. You really need a clear mind when you’re making relationship decisions.

2. You get to mature sexually with someone you’re comfortable with. It’s probably embarrassing to explore sex for the first time with someone who’s more experienced than you and looks down on you for it! 

3. No baggage! No baby mamas, body counts, or STDs to worry about! Major key lol

Have any of you guys waited until marriage to have sex? Let me know in the comments!

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42 Comments
  1. My husband and I waited for Biblical reasons too. It is worth it for SO MANY reasons! There have even been some awesome scientific articles written on what goes on in the brain the first time, as well as some other scientific reports on why it’s best to wait too. Good job for speaking out about a harder topic to talk about.

  2. I think your experience is beautiful! I really think you two were meant for each other – it just seems meant to be! Thank you for being so honest!!!

  3. Thanks for sharing your story and inspiring younger people to think about what’s important. It’s a wonderful thing when people with similar values connect – glad you two found each other! 🙂

  4. Thank you for sharing this! I have only ever been with my husband and people are so shocked in today’s world about that! I also married young because I knew I always wanted to and to start a family young.

  5. I waited but it was more how things turned out than an active avoidance on my part! I won’t be telling my kids they have to wait but if they chose to then that’s there Choice,

  6. I was raised with the same mindset. I didn’t exactly wait 21 years, but I did wait until I found the one. I lost my virginity to my now husband at 19. We’ve been together 10 years, and married for 5. Best decision, ever.

  7. This is awesome. I love reading about people who wait till marriage because sex has been normalized so much that saying you are waiting is a big deal for many people.

  8. I did not but often wish I did. So much emotional baggage, clouded judgment and the wrong idea of love. But I am proud to say I shed all of those and am now in an a happy and fulfilling marriage!! I admire you for waiting and pray you inspire many more women to do the same!

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